Monday, October 5, 2009

It works if you work it so work it you're worth it

Words that are so profound, so simple, but if you really pay attention to them they mean so much. They are actually part of a slightly longer statement that goes like this:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it, you're worth it!"

At the end of our meetings with the family/client group where our son is, and at the end of our meeting with our parent support group that my wife and I go to, AND at the end of every AA, NA, CA, etc meeting these simple words are said, and for many people they are the most important words they can see that day. Wherever people are that say these words at the end of their meeting, they join their hands together in a fellowship that I have rarely seem before and say the words like they are the last words they will ever say. If you follow those words, if you can believe in those words, then you (whether or not you are an addict or a co-dependent family member) will have the strength to live each day and you will be able to face the horrible challenges that the disease of addiction puts on you. I know, because I am beginning to see how believing in these words have helped my family, and most imporantly, my son.

We saw our son twice this past weekend. On Friday we went down to the treatment center to meet with him and his counselor to begin planning his exit strategy. The meeting went very well and we were very impressed with his dedication to keeping himself in his recovery group, staying in the area to be with his recovery network, and doing the work necessary for him to move into a sober house. His counselor told us that he is participating alot in group sessions, has become a mentor to others, and is making the right choices with who he hangs around with outside of the formal sessions. This disease is all about choices, and making the correct ones is very important. My wife is finally feeling that he is truly turning the corner, that there is hope and that there is a chance that he will succeed with his recovery. We are sure that life will throw him curves, but as long as he lives but the words written above, and knows how to handle problems without resorting to drugs, then he will succeed. More importantly, if he DOES have a slip, he knows what he has to do to make sure it does not happen again. Overall, it was a good meeting, and then a very strong family session in the evening with the other families. Keep coming back, over and over, because that is the only way we will all get better.

On Saturday we went down again, this time with my mom and step-father (who have NOT seen our son since he went away). We picked him up and took him out to lunch (with our younger son as well). It was a very good visit and they were very impressed by how well our son is doing, and how far he has come since he has been in the treatment program. This was the first time the six of us have all been together in months, and while it was an emotional day, it was a good day, not only for our son's grand-parents, but for my wife and I was well. Our family is starting to come back together again, and there is nothing wrong with that at all. The boys had a nice visit as well, with our sons having a chance to talk about some things on their own.

It works if you work it..... keep coming back..... you're worth it... Recovery is not easy, but I am starting to believe that the harder you work at this the greater your chances of success. I hope that we (my family) is one of the lucky success stories. Only time will tell. We all still have a long road in our recovery, and the path is still open. That is all I can ask for.

2 comments:

  1. I just found this today...I hope that things are going better for you than they were. I'm a recovering addict in NA and it is not easy. It took me a long time to even realize or be able to admit I had a problem...at 27, I am just now putting my life together...alone and without a supportive family. Your son is very lucky to have you and with maturity, time, patience, honesty and unconditional love...things will improve.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You said in your post for 2010, there is no recovered only recovery and your right. An addict will always be in recovery, there is no cure. Very great words to live by, "keep coming back, it works if you work it and your worth it" Relapse scares the crap out of me, I dont want jails, institutions and death. I know 1 is too many and a thousand is never enough. I watch other group members go through relapse and hope it wont happen to me, I just recieved my green key tag(60 days)and i am trying to work the program. I attend 2 meetings each week and in-between read "Just for Today" I also pick up a copy of basic text and reading it. Just for today seems to work for me and i dont know why. I look forward to every meeting and like your son glad to have such a supporting family. Understanding that if relapse occures its the disease it has roots that go deep. I have not yet been challanged since in recovery, the program will give me the skills i need not to use in those challanging times, all the best.

    John

    ReplyDelete