Busy and emotional weekend

Very busy weekend with our son's addiction. Very emotional as well.

Friday night was my first Therapist appt. Went well. The therapist and I 'clicked' which is good. I am hoping he can help me heal. I will be seeing him once a week and he wants to concentrate not on my son and his addicition, but on me and how I can get myself better. This is exactly what I need.

We did not go to the family session on Friday night because on Saturday we took our son out for four hours. He earned a four-hour offsite. My brother and his partner, and our younger son went with us. Took him to lunch and then went to play some mini-golf. Aftewards we went back to his house and our son's had a bit of a heart to heart on the front porch, which they both desperately needed. It was a good visit, which we heard almost had to be cancelled because our son got caught smoking when he shouldn't have and initially had his offsite cancelled. He wrote his house manager an apology letter and grovelled and his offsite was restored. I think if we had found out about the violation we would have cancelled it ourselves, to teach him a lesson. He needs to follow the rules in life, no matter how unfair they may seem.

Yesterday, Sunday, I finally got around to dismantling the L shaped desk and hutch in his room so we can throw it away. I had a very difficult time emotionally doing this because I remember being the one who spent 8 hours putting the darn thing together about 6 years ago. Plus, I had to spend alot of time in his room, which is still very difficult for me. However, we have to totally change his room so if he ever does come home it does not act like a trigger. I struggled through the process and got it done, but not without alot of tears. I did not sleep well last night (only got about 3 hours sleep) and I have to believe that my mind was still reeling from having to do what I did earlier in the day. Perhaps this is something I will bring up with my therapist on Wed night.

That's it for now. We will see our son again on Friday night for the next family session, and then of course a week from today (8/31) is his next court appearance.