Frustration

This past Friday night's family session was good and hard. It was for two reasons. The first, our son is clearly frustrated with the whole process and was having a bad day. It took us a while to get out of him what was bothering him and it wasn't until the end of the night that we got the whole story. On the positive side, he DID participate more in the group session and had some interesting comments to make. The second reason why it was hard was because it was an emotional night for some of the other clients, which made it a very tough room to be in for awhile. We also said goodbye to another client who had been there for awhile and we had gotten to know. We pray for his continued success.

I have left a message with the counseling supervisor to see what she can do to help our son out. His primary counselor is on vacation this week, so it was not a big deal to call the supervisor. If our son and his counselor are not connecting then we feel they should make a change. It's been 8 weeks now, and he has given it his best shot with her. And, I cannot understand why they will not give him a non-addictive ADD medication to help him concentrate in sessions....this is just like school and this may be the only way he will be able to succeed.

On a personal note, I had a bad day on Sunday. Like a drug addict, certain things act as triggers to my emotions. In the early afternoon I was at the gym and I saw two kids who graduated in the same class as our son, and then about a half hour later I heard the song Beautiful Boy by John Lennon and I lost it. Specifically, the lyrics

Close your eyes, Have No Fear.
The Monsters gone
He’s On The Run and your daddy’s here

And

Before you cross the street, take my hand…..

In our son's case, the monster is his addiction, and I CAN'T HELP HIM! I can't take his hand, help him cross the street and make everything better. I got home and my wife was in his room (we are still trying to go through everything and clean it up) and I sat there and lost it again for a good 10 minutes or more. I guess I needed a good cry, because I was a bit better afterwards, but the rest of the day and into the night I was kind of going through the motions, sitting on the couch, trying to read (and I couldn't) and I ended up just watching TV at night really not paying attention to much.

I'm better, for now.